I am a suicidal child. I do not have a good relationship with my parents and whenever they try to “help me” they make everything at least ten times worse. Also, I’m a social reject, a complete introvert, full of rage, hate, pain, and sadness at all times, most likely with bipolar disorder and BPD as well.
I am also on the smarter side of the INTP personality type, which means that I completely think everything through and am rational in my decisions, which makes it even more sad that I want to die. whenever I start to think that I might not, something happens that almost pushes me off the edge.
I don’t know how much longer I can last. I’m not on any medication; my parents don’t know I need it. I am also very close with my older brother and he is also suicidal, he cuts himself and has attempted suicide many times and is severely bullied. Also whenever I try to be myself for once that’s when everyone walks away, even my so-called friends. I learned a long time ago, when I was 8, that if I act more “normal”, people like me. So I’m always acting, and I put on a face for everyone so much that I don’t even know who I am anymore. Also, I hate my name, and it sends a new bolt of pain through me every time someone says it.
I know you will probably tell me that the world needs me or something, but I know that. I have so much to offer, so much I could give. The trouble is that at this point, I’m done trying. I’ve been fighting all my life and I’m so, so tired. Soon I will give up.
It’s not like I have any hope left anyway.
Thanks for your time,
The Person Who’s Name Doesn’t Matter Because She’s Going To Die Soon Anyway
I feel the same way and have a lot of mental issues as well but my “loving” family doesn’t believe in mental disorders. Massage me back some time, we can be suicide buddies although I’ll probably be dead by morning. 🙂 I want to stab my self